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About Leeds

So yeah, sexual-massage – messy, mad, fuckin glorious. “The useful and the useless,” Varda’d say – it’s both, innit? Try it, mate – but watch them sneaky upcharges! *mumbles* fuckin hell, Sharon!

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So, I’m feeling good, right? I decide to grab a coffee at this little café on Spon Street. It’s one of those hipster joints, you know? I order a flat white, and the barista looks at me like I just asked for a unicorn frappuccino. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just coffee!” Anyway, I sit down, and this old fella starts chatting me up. He’s telling me about the good ol’ days in Coventry. Apparently, he used to hang out at the old Coventry Market. I’m thinking, “Wow, you must be ancient!” But he’s got some great stories.

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