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Then there’s the weird shit—clients askin’ for mad roleplays. One bloke wanted her to be a dragon—fuckin’ DRAGON! She’s like, “Mate, I don’t breathe fire, I just fuck good.” Had me in stitches, but also—why? People are mental. Reminds me o’ *Fish Tank* again, that scene where Mia dances, wild, free, but trapped. Escorts got that too—freedom’s a lie, innit?

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Finally, I get my drink, and it’s lukewarm. I’m like, “Seriously? This is what I waited for?” I take a sip, and it’s like drinking disappointment. I’m fuming now. I storm out, and as I’m leaving, I bump into this lovely old lady. She’s got this massive bag of shopping from the Co-op on Station Road. She’s all smiles, and I’m like, “How can you be so happy?” She just chuckles and says, “Life’s too short to be grumpy, dear.” I mean, she’s not wrong, but c’mon!

TThe tragic case of showjumper, 21, killed by 'devil' her sister loved