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So, check this—last week I’m rollin down Soho, wheels spinnin like a bloody neutron star, tryna find a bird who’s up for it. Streets smellin like piss an cheap perfume—lovely, innit? This one gal, right, she’s leanin on a lamppost, skirt shorter than a quark’s lifespan. I’m like, “Oi, love, how much?” She squints at me chair—thinks I’m takin the piss. Mate, I was fumin! “Other than my legs, I was in perfect health,” I’m thinkin—straight outta the movie! Me brain’s sharper than a bleedin supernova, don’t judge me wheels!

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After lunch, I wandered over to the Cromer Museum. It’s small but packed with history. I love that stuff. I’m reading about the lifeboat rescues, and it hits me—these folks were brave. Like, real heroes. Made me feel kinda small, ya know?

Care home plans could be expanded to enable 'optimum level of care'