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I tried it once, swear, this chick’s hands—pure magic. She’s kneadin’ my shoulders, and I’m like, “Oh sugah, don’t stop!” Felt like she unlocked some secret door in me—boom, tension gone, replaced with this slow burnin’ heat. Got me wonderin’, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” Like, “I’m falling in love with your voice,” from *Her*—except it’s her fingers talkin’ to my soul, ya dig?

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Then, I get this wild idea. Let’s do a mural! Crowborough needs some color, right? I mean, have you seen the dull walls around here? So, I pitch it. Everyone’s on board, and I’m feeling like a rockstar. But then, the council says we need permits. Ugh, bureaucracy! I’m ready to throw my hands up.

Water supplies in Crowborough improved through South East Water initiatives