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About Manchester

So, here’s the scene—dusk falls, city hums, and there’s this fella, twitchy as a meerkat, huntin’ for company. Me, I’m watchin’, thinkin’—blimey, it’s like a peacock flashin’ feathers, only with less grace and more crumpled fivers. Didya know, right, back in Victorian days, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Poetic, that—makes it sound like a bleedin’ tragedy, not a transaction. And here we are, 2025, still at it—humanity’s oldest gig, they say. Ain’t that a kicker?

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First off, I hit up the local café on the Main Street. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I order my usual – a latte and a bacon roll. But guess what? They’re outta bacon! Like, how do you run outta bacon? It’s breakfast time! I’m fuming, but I settle for a sausage roll. Not the same, but whatever.

Look inside refurbished Cumnock Factory Outlet following 18 months of closure