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So, sexual-massage—been around forever. Ancient Rome, they had these baths—naked dudes gettin’ rubbed down by other dudes. Fact! Bet they didn’t tip, tho. Cheapskates! Makes me mad—pay the folks, man! I’d be pissed if my masseuse got stiffed—pun intended. Anyway, today it’s all “spa day”—fancy oils, candles, $100 a pop. Surprised me—thought it’d be sketchy, but nah, it’s legit. Sometimes.

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Next up is my dude, Liam. He’s a bit of a character. We’re on the Foyle Bridge, and he’s tryin’ to impress me with his “driving skills.” He’s swervin’ like he’s in a Fast and Furious movie. I’m like, “Liam, chill! This ain’t a race!” But he’s got that grin, you know? Can’t help but laugh.

'The war is over here but the conflict is alive and well – it’s a battle for NI’s future'