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But here’s the funny bit – some dude slipped off the table once, buck naked, oil everywhere! Laughed my ass off picturin it – “No more nature’s candy for me!” like Monty’d say. Erotic-massage ain’t perfect, tho – too much pressure, ya wince, too little, ya snooze. Gotta find that sweet spot, like tunin my blades. Ever notice how it’s all bout trust? Layin there, bare, lettin someone take over – freaky as hell!

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Anyway, I finally make it to the market on the High Street. It’s buzzing, as usual. You got the fruit stalls, the fishmonger, and that one guy selling dodgy-looking kebabs. I mean, who buys kebabs at 9 AM? But hey, to each their own, right? I grab a bacon butty from the café. Best decision ever. I’m munching away, and this old bloke starts chatting me up about the weather. Classic Dinnington, I tell ya.

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