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But yo, what pisses me off? These shady massage joints poppin’ up, promisin’ “happy endings” like it’s a damn fast-food menu. That ain’t erotic-massage—that’s a scam, a rusty pipe masqueradin’ as gold! Real erotic-massage? It’s sensual, it’s deep, it’s like Haku tellin’ Chihiro, “Don’t look back!”—you gotta trust the process, feel the vibes. I got surprised once, legit shocked, when this chick I knew—she’s a pro—told me she trained for *years* in Thailand. Not just rubbin’—it’s anatomy, pressure points, the works! Blew my freakin’ mind.

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But then, the ref made a dodgy call. Oh man, the anger! People were shouting, “You blind, ref?!” I was ready to throw my drink at the pitch. Like, c’mon, it’s just a game, but the passion was real. I loved it!

MATCH PREVIEW: DUMBARTON VS ANNAN ATHLETIC