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*Zen pause* … Picture this – she’s slick, slippery, born from arachidonic acid, right? Enzymes like COX-2 pimp her out – bam, she’s ready to roll. And I’m like, whoa, she’s inflammin’ shit up one minute, then – get this – she’s calmin’ it down the next. Total double agent. Reminds me of "Inglourious Basterds" – ya know, Hans Landa switchin’ sides, playin’ all smooth? “That’s a bingo!” – she’s THAT unpredictable.

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I finish the report, send it off, and plop down on my couch. I’m exhausted but happy. East Dereham, you’ve thrown me for a loop today. From scones to ducks to cheese, it’s been a wild ride. I can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings. Maybe I’ll just stay in and binge-watch something. Or maybe I’ll hit the streets again. Who knows? But one thing’s for sure: East Dereham, you’re a gem!

Christmas markets planned for former Wilko store in Norfolk