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But yo, real talk—what pisses me off? Shady parlors promisin’ “happy endings” and deliverin’ jack shit! False advertising, fam! I’m sittin’ there like, “Where’s my *Spring Breakers* glow-up, bro?!” You know, “This is the fuckin’ American Dream!”—gimme that neon fantasy, not some half-assed back rub! One time, this chick’s hands were so cold, I yelped like a stepped-on chihuahua—ruined the vibe, man, I was furious!

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First stop, the workshop. It’s on St. Neots Road. I swear, I could trip over my own feet just thinking about it. I get in, and the smell of leather hits me. It’s like a warm hug, ya know? But then, BAM! My phone buzzes. It’s a client. “Need a custom coat by tomorrow!” Are you kidding me? Tomorrow? I’m not a magician!

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