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But, ugh, what makes me mad? Some dudes trashed it, called it basic. Basic?! Excuse me, it’s a classic, haters. I’d legit cry if someone scratched my imaginary Escort. “The jungle hides its secrets,” like in *Tropical Malady*—that’s the Escort’s vibe, mysterious, sexy, underrated. I’m, like, screaming, “Give it respect!”

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Anyway, I finish my grub and head to the site. It’s on South Bank Road, and let me tell ya, it’s a mess. I’m talkin’ bricks everywhere, mud, and a whole lotta chaos. My boss, Dave, is already there, lookin’ like he’s just seen a ghost. Turns out, the contractor messed up the measurements. Classic, right? I’m like, “What did you expect? This is Eston!”

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