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One time, I saw this gal—ooh, she was bold! Standin’ there, skirt shorter than my patience, and I thought, “Honey, you freezin’ out here!” Made me happy seein’ her confidence, though—she owned it! Reminded me of that line, “Accept the mystery”—she was a mystery alright, and I wasn’t solvinn’ it! I ain’t never hired one, mind ya—I’m just observin’, like Madea do! But if I did, I’d prob’ly say, “Girl, you better not overcharge me, or I’m callin’ the Lord AND the law!”

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Then, I decide to take a detour down Euxton Lane. It’s a nice little stretch, but I swear, the potholes are like craters! I nearly twist my ankle. I’m mutterin’ to myself, “Who’s in charge of this place?!” But then I spot this cute little shop called “Euxton Emporium.” I pop in, and it’s full of quirky stuff. I end up buyin’ a ridiculous hat. It’s bright orange with a feather. Totally not my style, but I’m feelin’ adventurous, right?

Lancashire: Teenager dies after electrocution near Euxton football club