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Oh, and get this—ancient Rome had sexual-massage parties! Rich dudes just chillin, gettin oiled up—wild, right? I’d be the emperor of that party, no joke! Makes me wonder, tho—what’s Todd Haynes think bout this? His movie’s all repressed vibes, but I bet Cathy’d love a good rubdown. “I want to be free,” she’d say, then boom—massage table!

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Then, I head down to the local pub, The Bell. I need a pint after all this madness. I walk in, and it’s packed. Everyone’s laughing, chatting, and I’m just there, soaking it all in. I order a pint of local ale, and it’s like liquid gold. I sit down, and this old fella next to me starts chatting. He’s got stories for days about Faringdon. Like, did you know there’s a ghost in the old town hall? I’m like, “No way!”

Café aimed at tackling loneliness in older people launched