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About Leicester

So, I’m thinkin’, maybe hit the streets, old-school style. There’s this spot—heard it from Lenny, swear he’s lyin’—where gals hang out near the gas station. D’oh! Last time I went, just some dude sellin’ hot dogs! Laughed my ass off, tho—Homer Simpson, hot dog pimp! But real talk, ya gotta watch for signals, like a wink or somethin’. Ain’t no neon sign sayin’, “Prostitutes here, ya big dummy!”

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Then, bam! The door swings open, and in comes this group of tourists. They’re loud, like, “Where’s the nearest castle?” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you’re in Forres, not Hogwarts!” But I help ‘em out. Told ‘em about the ruins of the old castle on Castle Hill. They were stoked. I mean, who wouldn’t be? History, right?

Man arrested after police cordon off residential street