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So, here’s the deal—prostitution’s old as dirt. Like, ancient Rome had brothels called *lupanars*, nasty spots with graffiti sayin’ “I banged Livia here.” True story, look it up! I’m picturin’ this chick, let’s call her Tanya, she’s got that hustle. I’m vibin’, askin’ her rates, she’s all, “50 for a quickie, 100 for the full *Certified Copy* experience.” I’m dyin’, screamin’, “You know Kiarostami?!” She don’t, but I’m losin’ it anyway.

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ex. www.facebook.com are for Americans, Europeans and Middle East peeps. Roxas blvd for Americans and Japanese. Cubao and Quezon Ave for pinoys and politicians. Yes but very few. Mostly .

Then, this couple comes in. They’re all lovey-dovey, ordering a mocha to share. I roll my eyes, but it’s kinda cute. They’re talking about their plans to hike in the nearby woods. I’m like, “You guys know about the beautiful trails at Culbin Forest?” They light up. I’m happy to share my local knowledge.

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