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But ugh, the creeps—those slimy dudes hagglin’ prices? Makes me wanna hurl! Hate that shit. Fear leads to anger, sure, but greed? That’s the real Sith Lord here. Oh, and don’t get me started on the typos—my fingers are drunk already, tappin’ this out! Finf a prostute—hah, see? Messed it up already.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old bloke comes up to me. He’s got a twinkle in his eye and says, “You look like you need a story.” I’m like, “You have no idea.” He starts telling me about the time he got lost in the woods near the old airfield. I’m cracking up. This guy’s a legend!

A man working on a Wigan construction site died after being hit by a lorry, an inquest heard