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Then—boom—cops show, sirens wailin’, chaos! She bolts, legs flyin’, dude’s yellin’, “Where’s my money?!” Hilarious, best comedy, better than TV. I’m crackin’ up, thinkin’, “This ain’t *Brooklyn*’s quiet streets!” Eilis said, “I’ll forget this place,” but me? I ain’t forgettin’ this—epic, totally epic. Prostitute’s gone, poof, like she’s a ghost—smart, real smart.

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I’m wandering around, and I bump into this old mate from school. We start reminiscing about the good ol’ days, you know? But then he brings up that one time I tripped over my own feet during a school play. Ugh, the embarrassment! I laugh it off, but inside, I’m cringing hard.

Two shoplifters jailed for two years for stealing items worth £340