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But it ain’t all laughs, nah. Some punter tried rippin’ her off once, an’ I’m fumin’ – “You don’t fuck with the working girls!” Nearly clocked him meself, but Sharon’s in me head, screamin’, “Ozzy, don’t be a twat!” Surprised me, y’know, how rough it gets. Makes ya think – “This world’s a cruel bastard,” like Ofelia dodgin’ monsters an’ that.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, proper downpour. I’m soaked, and my bacon sarnie’s ruined. I’m standin’ there, drenched, thinkin’, “This is just great.” I dash into a nearby café on the corner of Church Road. It’s cozy, smells like coffee and pastries. I order a hot chocolate, tryin’ to warm up.

Gosforth fire: Village shop ablaze as road shut