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So, I’m thinkin’ about *Caché*, my fave flick, y’know? That creepy Haneke vibe, all tense and mysterious. Erotic-massage could totally fit in there! Like, “Who’s watching us?” – that line from the movie, but imagine it whispered while someone’s kneading your back, oiled up and slippery. Gives me chills, man! Not the bad kind, the *good* kind. I’d be like, “Oh yeah, keep goin’, don’t stop!” That’s what she said, amirite?

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Finally, I make it back to the office, looking like a drowned rat. My coworkers are cracking up. I can’t even be mad. I mean, it’s kinda funny. I sit down, and I’m just like, “What a day!”

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