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About Myself
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So, listen up, you twat! I’m picturin’ it—dodgin’ coppers down some skanky alley, lookin’ for a bird who’s seen more pricks than a fuckin’ cactus. “What’s your name?”—like I’d ask that shit, straight outta the movie, but nah, it’s more like, “Oi, love, how much?” Makes me wanna puke, but also—fuckin’ hell—kinda thrilling, yeah? Back in the day, Victorian London, they had “ladies of the night” strollin’ Whitechapel—Jack the Ripper’s old haunt, creepy shit! Bet they didn’t expect some sweaty chef like me judgin’ em now, eh?
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But then, out of nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I’m soaked in seconds. I’m running for cover, laughing at the absurdity of it all. I duck into a café on Regent Road, and it’s cozy. I order a hot chocolate, and it’s like a warm hug in a cup.
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