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About Glasgow

So, sex-dating’s this crazy jungle. People just wanna hook up, no strings, no fuss. I mean, I tried it once—don’t judge me, sweetie! This guy, total stud, right? Shows up, smells like cheap cologne and desperation. I’m like, “Oh honey, noooo!” Made me so mad I coulda smashed a stove on his head! But then, there’s the thrill, ya know? That lil rush when ya match with some hottie. Gets me all tingly, like when Grace in *Dogville* goes, “I’ll do what I have to.” HAH! She gets it!

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First off, I decided to hit up the Greenock Esplanade. You know, that lovely stretch by the water? I thought I’d get some inspiration for my next game. I mean, who wouldn’t wanna design a game set in a seaside town, right? But as I’m walking, I see this seagull. And not just any seagull. This dude was like the king of the birds. He swoops down, and I’m like, “No way, man!” But he snatches my sandwich right outta my hand! I’m standing there, mouth agape, while this feathered thief flies off. I mean, c’mon! Who does that?

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