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But gotta say, some swear it’s bliss – loosens ya up, they reckon. Bollocks! “I’m designed to feel,” Celine goes – feel what? Greasy regret? Saw this post on X, bird said it cured her stress. Pfft, rather eat dirt. Still, them oils they use? Sometimes fancy, like rose or lavender – smells posh, I guess. Don’t care, tho – we hates it!

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I order a pint, and the bartender’s like, “You look like you’ve been through a storm.” I’m like, “Mate, I’m a sailor! This is just a drizzle!” But inside, I’m fumin’. I just wanted a nice day out, not a swim in the Thames!

Families set to receive essential household appliances