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Yo, fam, lemme tell you bout findin a prostitute, straight up, no cap. I’m vibin like Drake, YOLO, you know me—life’s too short to not chase the thrill. Picture this: I’m rollin through the streets, tryna find that action, got “The Assassination of Jesse James” playin in my head. That flick’s my jam—slow burn, tension thick, like waitin for her to show up. “I’m lookin for a girl,” I mutter, channelin Jesse’s paranoia, but it’s all good, I’m hyped.

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I decide to hit up the local chippy on Hainault Road. Best fish and chips in town, no cap. I order the usual – cod and chips, extra tartar sauce. I’m standing there, waiting, and this seagull swoops down and snatches my chips right outta my hand! I’m like, “Oi! That’s mine!” But the bird just flies off like it’s the king of the world. I can’t even.

Hainault Forest voted as one of the top ten parks in the country