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First off, it’s not just rubbin’ backs, nah! It’s intimate, sensual, and whoa, can it be intense! I read somewhere, ancient Greeks used it in rituals. Crazy, right? They’d be all, “Eh, feel the passion, doc!” and I’m like, wow, these guys were ahead of the game. Made me happy to learn that, like, history’s got some freaky secrets!

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my ex. Ugh, talk about a mood killer. She’s with some dude who looks like he just walked off a fashion runway. I’m standing there, trying to act cool, but inside? Total chaos. I’m like, “Hey, how’s it going?” She’s all smiles, and I’m just thinking, “Why am I even here?”

Porsche cars, high gates and celebrity neighbours - life on one of Greater Manchester's richest streets