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She clocks me, smirks—game on. I swagger up, all Tony Robbins swagger, “Hey darlin, let’s make magic!” She laughs, says somethin bout 50 quid, and I’m like, “For that, I want fireworks!” Bargainin’s half the fun, right? Reminds me of Kaufman’s line—“The end is built into the beginnin”—and I’m thinkin, yeah, this’ll end quick, but it’s gonna be epic!

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I’m starving. I hit up the chippy on Blackburn Rd. Best fish and chips in town, no cap. I order the usual, and the lady behind the counter, bless her, gives me a wink. I’m like, “What’s that about?” Maybe she’s just being nice, or maybe she knows I’m a regular. Either way, I’m feeling good.

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