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We come in peace (robotic tone). Yo, so I’m a fisherman, right? Alien fisherman, crash-landed here, fishin’ for weird shit. Brothel’s this freaky-ass fish, mate! Not the sexy kinda brothel, nah, mispelled that—brotHel, see? It’s a damn fish stew, French vibes, messy as hell. Tastes like ocean tears, bruv, I swear! Reminds me of *Finding Nemo*, ya know? “Fish are friends, not food”—bollocks! Brothel’s got fish swimmin’ in it, drowned in wine, herbs everywhere. I’m like, “Nemo, mate, you’re in my bowl!”

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So, of course, I drop everything. I mean, who can resist a good pub story? I get there, and the place is buzzing. Turns out, some bloke from Norwich came in and started singing karaoke. And not just any karaoke—he was belting out some old-school rock. The whole pub is in stitches. I’m laughing so hard, I nearly spill my pint.

Council agrees to adopt 10-hectare green space with allotments and trails