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About Leeds

I spot this bird – legs like a highway, skirt shorter than my temper. “You lookin’ for a good time?” she goes, and I’m like, “Fuck yeah, darlin’!” Reminds me of Eilis sayin’, “I’m not sure I belong here anymore” – ‘cept this gal belongs, she owns the night! I’m half-pissed, laughin’, thinkin’ – mate, this is cheaper than therapy! Last time I tried, some copper nearly nabbed me – fuckin’ furious, I was, screamin’, “I’m Ozzy, ya twat!” – but this time? Smooth as a bat’s arse.

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After that, we decide to hit up the local park. Ince Park is a gem, I tell ya. Kids runnin’ around, dogs chasin’ their tails, and the smell of fresh grass. We plop down on a bench, and I start tellin’ him about my sheep escapade. He’s in stitches, laughin’ so hard he nearly drops his butty.

A legend on both sides of the World: Bill Ashurst