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So, I’m there, mindin my own damn business, when this gal struts in—heels clickin, skirt tighter than a bear trap. I’m thinkin, “This is how it starts, huh?” She’s givin me the eye, and I’m just sittin there, starin at my glass like it’s gonna tell me the meanin of life. Findin a prostitute’s tricky—ya don’t just yell, “Hey, who’s sellin tonight?” Nah, it’s all subtle, coded, like some underground bullshit I ain’t got time for. “Plant an idea,” Cobb’d say, right? Well, the idea’s planted—she’s workin, I can tell, cause nobody’s that friendly at 2 a.m. in a dive like this.

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We start chatting, and he tells me about this crazy hike he did up Goatfell. I’m like, “Dude, you’re nuts! I can barely walk up the stairs!” But then he shows me pics, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe I’ll give it a go.”

Fire crews continue to battle Arran wildfire as public urged to avoid area