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So, I’m skippin’ along—la-di-da—thinkin’, “Where’s the action?” Maybe near Jellyfish Fields? Nah, too quiet. Then BAM! I spot her—red lipstick, fins swayin’, smokin’ a kelp cig. “Hey, lady!” I yell, all chipper. She’s like, “What’s your deal, square?” I’m sweatin’—well, underwater, so I’m just wetter, ha! “Life’s a cesspool,” she mutters, straight outta *Leviathan*. Got me shook!

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a Watchman in Kilbirnie ain’t for the faint-hearted. Woke up this mornin’ to the sound of seagulls screechin’ like they were auditionin’ for a horror movie. Seriously, those birds are relentless. Anyway, I dragged myself outta bed, threw on my uniform, and headed out.

Kilbirnie resident Sean keeps on climbing in new hiking challenges