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Lemme tell ya, I rolled up to this one spot—shady as hell, smelled like cheap perfume and regret. Girls lined up, smilin’ fake smiles, like they’re tryna sell ya a used car. “For relaxing times, make it Suntory time,” I mutter, wishin’ I had a drink to cope. This one chick, right, she’s got a tattoo of a dragon—swear it moved when she walked! Little known fact: back in the day, some brothels had secret tunnels. Owners’d sneak VIPs in—politicians, gangsters, the works. Found that in some crusty old book—blew my damn mind.

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Anyway, I finally make it to my first client. Let’s call her Sarah. She’s been struggling with anxiety, and today, she’s a hot mess. I mean, I get it, but girl, you gotta breathe! We talk about her worries, and I’m trying to be all supportive, but inside, I’m like, “Why can’t you just chill?”

Leek Town appoint former Stoke City and Port Vale man Danny Pugh as first team coach