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So, if you’re dead set on findin’ one, darlin’, keep your wits sharp and your wallet close. Watch for the signs—too much perfume, a wink that’s a lil too quick. And if she quotes *The Return* at ya—“What’s there to talk about?”—well, shoot, you mighta found a keeper! Me, I’m stickin’ to my guitar and a good story—less trouble, more fun, and I don’t gotta dodge no Bubbas in wigs! Y’all take care now, ya hear?

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Then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. I mean, like, torrential rain! I was soaked in seconds. I ran for cover, but not before I slipped on some wet cobblestones. Classic! I landed right in front of a group of tourists. They laughed. I laughed too, but inside, I was like, “Great, just great.”

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