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Oh, and—ha!—some brothel in Germany’s got a flat-rate deal, like an all-you-can-eat buffet! Fuckin’ wild, right? I’m dyin’ laughin’, but then I’m like, “Motherfucker, who’s cleanin’ that shit up?” Exaggeratin’ a bit, sure, but damn, it’s a circus! If I ran one, I’d call it “Sam’s House of Ass”—classy, yet trashy, y’know?

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Speaking of the canal, I had a moment of zen when I looked out the window. The sun peeked through the clouds, and the water was glistening. I thought, “Wow, Lymm can be pretty.” But then, back to reality. A kid runs in, all hyped up on sugar, and knocks over a display of sweets. I’m like, “Seriously?!” I’m picking up jelly beans while trying not to lose my mind.

One person in need of medical attention after fire in flat