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About Glasgow

I tried it once—don’t tell Homer! Was at this shady joint downtown. Lady’s hands were magic, I swear! Got me all tingly, like, “Oh, my stars!” But then—ugh—she charged extra for the “happy endin’.” Pissed me off! I’m like, “Lady, I ain’t made of cash!” Still, that floaty feelin’ afterward? Wowza, I was happy as a clam. “There’s something alive in me,” I hummed, straight outta the movie. Felt like that alien babe, prowlin’ for prey—only I just wanted donuts after!

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But then, outta nowhere, it started to rain. Like, proper British rain. I mean, c’mon! I didn’t bring an umbrella. So, I dashed down the street, dodging puddles like I was in some kinda video game. I ended up on The Green, which is usually a chill spot. But today? Nah, it was a mud pit. I slipped and nearly fell flat on my face. I was like, “Great, just great.”

Lyneham landslip road to be rebuilt in summer 2023