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Oi, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, yesss, split mind hissing, got thoughts on findin’ a prossie. Nasty business, eh? But we likes it dark, don’t we, like “Only Lovers Left Alive.” Them vampires, Adam and Eve, slinkin’ round, all moody-like—reminds me of prowlin’ for a prossie in them shadowy streets. “We’re not like the zombies,” Adam says, and I hiss—prossies ain’t either, eh? Livin’, breathin’, but oh so lost.

The “rules” in sex rings for foreigners

Then, the day took a wild turn. I’m walking back home, and I see this commotion near the Merrow Post Office. Turns out, there’s a street performer doing magic tricks. I’m not even into that stuff, but this guy was legit! He pulled a rabbit outta a hat, and I was like, “No way!” I clapped like a seal.

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