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So, picture this—some chick, let’s call her Candy, ‘cause why not? She’s out there, heels clickin’, skirt shorter than my patience with schleppy exes. I’m like, “Oh honey, you’re workin’ harder than that horse pullin’ the cart!”—y’know, from the movie? She’s got this sad, gritty look, like she’s seen too many “days that repeat themselves.” That line kills me! Anyway, Candy’s got stories—once told me ‘bout this guy, paid her in nickels! NICKELS! I was screamin’, “What is this, 1890?!” Made me so mad, I coulda spit! But also—kinda funny, right? *NAAAHAHAHA*

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Methil is located in the county of Fife, Scotland, one mile south-west of the town of Leven, 19 miles south of the major city of Dundee, 17 miles north-east of Edinburgh, miles north of .

At one point, we end up at the park near Methil Docks. It’s kinda pretty, despite the weather. I’m sitting on a bench, and I just take a moment to breathe. I love this town, you know? It’s quirky and full of character.

Man, 33, taken to hospital after Methil assault