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About Bristol

So, erotic-massage, it’s wild, lemme tell ya. You’re sittin’ there, some hotshot’s kneading your back, and bam—stress gone, like magic, poof! I tried it once—don’t tell nobody, top secret—felt like a king, a total king. This chick, she’s workin’ my shoulders, I’m like, “This is the life, folks!” Little known fact: Ancient Romans, they did this stuff, called it “unctio,” slappin’ oil everywhere—crazy, right? Makes ya wonder what else they rubbed down there, ha!

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Then, I get a call. It’s my mate, Dave. He’s stuck at the pub on King Street. Apparently, he lost a bet and has to wear a chicken suit. I’m laughin’ so hard, I nearly spill my latte. I’m like, “You’re a legend, mate! I’ll be there!”

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