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Well, mortals, gather ‘round—Loki’s here, smug mischief and all, burdened with glorious purpose! So, erotic-massage, huh? Let’s dive in, ya filthy beasts! I’m talkin’ hands slippin’ over skin, oils so slick you’d think it’s a trick—my kinda chaos! Saw this once in Midgard, some dimly lit joint, all candles and whispers—thought I’d stumbled into a cult, but nah, just folks gettin’ kneaded like dough. Made me smirk—humans, so desperate for touch, they pay for it! “Have you ever tried to be serious?”—hah, like Larry Gopnik in *A Serious Man*, floppin’ through life, all confused, but here’s me, gleeful, watchin’ palms dance on backsides.

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Then, boom! In walks this group of lads from the rugby club. They’re all hyped up, shoutin’ and laughin’. I’m thinkin’, “Oh boy, here we go.” They order a round of pints, and I’m pourin’ like a madman. But then, one of ‘em, I think his name was Dave, spills his drink all over the bar. I’m like, “Mate, really? You’re gonna start the party with a flood?” But he just laughs it off, and I can’t help but chuckle too.

Man admits hate crime after drunkenly hurling threats and racist abuse in shop