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Hallo, my friend! I’m back, ya? Erotic-massage – oh boy, it’s somethin’ else! Picture dis: soft hands, warm oil, total relaxtion – BAM! Like in “Amélie,” ya know, when she’s all dreamy, “life’s a mystery, ya?” Dat’s erotic-massage for me, pure magic! I tink it’s da best way to chill, no kiddin’. Ya lie dere, muscles screamin’ from liftin’, den some angel hands just melt da pain away – hasta la vista, stress!

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So, I decide to take a stroll down to Morley Town Hall. It’s a beautiful building, all Victorian and stuff. I’m walking down Commercial Street, and I see this kid, maybe 10 years old, trying to ride his bike. He’s wobbling like he’s had one too many fizzy drinks. I can’t help but chuckle. Kids, man. They’re fearless.

Ebenezer Cobb Morley: Football man and myth