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So, picture this – I’m stumblein’ down some dodgy alley, yeah? Smells like piss and regret, but I’m buzzin’, fuckin’ buzzin’! This ain’t no posh gig – nah, it’s raw, it’s gritty. You gotta know the code, right? Little fact for ya – back in Victorian times, prossies used to flash red lanterns, secret signal, innit? Nowadays, it’s all sneaky nods and “Oi, love, you workin’?” Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – she’d kill me if she knew, but I’m Ozzy, I see the shadows dance, don’t I?
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But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches a chip right outta a kid’s hand! The poor wee lad starts cryin’, and I’m just standin’ there, laughin’ my head off. I mean, come on! That bird’s got some serious skills.
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