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I’m buzzin’, cos she’s got that Suzy vibe from Moonrise—bit weird, bit magic, ya know? “We’re like two boats passin’,” I says, quotin’ me fave film. She rolls her eyes, “Mate, it’s 50 quid, not poetry.” Fair, fair, I’m laughin’ me arse off. But then—BAM—some copper strolls by, an’ I’m sweatin’ like a prawn in a pan. “Ain’t no law against chattin’,” she winks, cool as fuck.

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After that, I’m fuming. I need a pick-me-up. So, I head to the Nailsworth Co-op. I’m browsing the aisles, trying to find something to lift my spirits. I spot some chocolate – the good stuff. I grab it, and boom! I drop it. It shatters everywhere. I’m like, “Great, just great.” The staff is super nice, though. They help me clean it up. I’m thinking, “At least someone’s having a good day.”

New update issued on Nailsworth gas leak