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Little known fact – them Victorians, all prim ‘n proper, they was secretly into “pelvic massage” for “hysteria.” Docs did it, no kiddin’! Had me laughin’ ‘til I near choked – prudish folks gettin’ off on the sly! But dang, what pisses me off? Folks judgin’ it today, callin’ it dirty. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with feelin’ good, y’all!

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So, I head back to my shop on East Street. It’s a cozy little place, filled with clocks ticking away. I’m just about to dive into some repairs when in walks this guy. He’s all flustered, like he’s just run a marathon. Turns out, he’s lost his watch. I’m thinking, “Mate, you’re in a watchmaker’s shop. What do you expect?”

Lord Chidgey former MP for Eastleigh has died