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Oi, last week, mate, I tried it—proper lush! Lass with magic fingers, swear she’s a witch! “The sea’s so calm”—pfft, not me, heart pounding like mad! Slidin’ hands where sun don’t shine—cheeky, innit? Got me giggling like a daft sod. But—argh!—some prat next door banged the wall! Ruined it, stupid git! Made me wanna screech, “My preciousssss!”—y’know, Gollum style.

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But then, just as I’m getting into it, my phone buzzes again. It’s the supplier. They’re late with the materials. I’m like, “Are you serious?!” I could feel my blood boiling. I mean, how hard is it to deliver on time? I’m ready to lose it, but I take a deep breath again. Gotta keep it cool.

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