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But here’s de real shit—ya gotta be smart, ya? Deys got apps now, like Tinder but dirtier, ha! Little known fact—some prostitutes in Vegas, dey use code words, like “roses” for bucks. Fifty roses? Fifty bucks, ya dig? Sneaky, huh! I’m sittin’ dere, thinkin’, “Dis is genius, I’m impressed!” But den you see de otha side—some pimp screamin’, “You’re my golden goose!” like Marion’s downfall, and it pisses me off, dese scumbags ruinin’ lives.

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I finally make it to the bridge, and it’s like, wow. The view is stunning. I pull out my phone to snap a pic, and guess what? My battery’s dead. Of course! Just my luck. I’m standing there, staring at the river, feeling all deep and philosophical. “Life’s like the Thames,” I think. “Sometimes it flows, sometimes it’s a mess.”

Investigation into fire that destroyed Norbiton cottage concludes