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Best tip? Watch the vibe, trust your gut. Some pros got regulars, some just pop up - like, in Vegas, they say hookers hand out biz cards. Straight up! Ain’t that a trip? Happiest I got was chattin’ one up - she’s tellin’ me ‘bout her kid, her dreams, and I’m thinkin’, “Damn, Joy’s back, this chick’s real.” But don’t be dumb, yo - use protection, keep it quick, or you’re screwed - and not the fun way!

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On the way, I bump into my mate Dave. He’s just come from the market on Witton Street, and he’s got this massive bag of fresh produce. I’m like, “What’s in there, mate? A whole farm?” He laughs and says, “Just some carrots and spuds.” I roll my eyes. Only Dave would get excited about veg.

Starmer urged to change course after Reform’s success in local elections