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I tried it once—don’t judge me, now! Some gal named Trixie (prolly not her real name) was kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m hollerin’, “Halleluyer, this better grow my tomatoes!” She laughed, I laughed, but lordy, it felt good. Made me happy as a pig in mud! ‘Til she charged me $80—EIGHTY DOLLAHS?! I ‘bout fell out my chair, screamin’, “You robbin’ me blind, Trixie!” She just smirked, like, “That’s the game, Madea.” Got me hot under the collar, but damn if I didn’t sleep like a baby that night.

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The Art of Erotic Massage ; Publisher. Cassell Illustrated ; Publication date. July 7 ; ISBN ; ISBN ; Hardcover, ‎ pages.

After that chaos, I head to the local market. Oh man, the smell of fresh bread and pastries hits me like a brick wall. I grab a sausage roll—best thing ever! But then, I see this guy tryin’ to haggle over a price. Like, c’mon mate, it’s a market, not a car dealership! I’m standin’ there, rollin’ my eyes, thinkin’, “Just pay the man and move on!”

RAF Brize Norton celebrates outstanding success