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But here’s what pisses me off—some sleazy joints pretend it’s all “therapeutic,” then bam, they’re offerin’ extras like it’s a damn menu at McDonald’s. Supersize that happy endin’, huh? Makes me wanna scream, “I’m pissed, Maya, I’m freakin’ pissed!” like in the movie. False advertisin’—hate it! But when it’s done right? Oh man, I’m happy as a shark with a laser beam. Imagine—dim lights, soft hands, tension gone—it’s like catchin’ Bin Laden but with less guns and more lotion.

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Opie & Anthony - Jim Norton's Sexual Deviancy Of Massage Parlors. 10K views 5 years ago. Jim Norton.

I’m runnin’ past the Norton Cemetery, and I can’t help but think, “This is not how I pictured my day.” I mean, I’m literally sprintin’ past gravestones, and I’m sure the ghosts are laughin’ at me. Finally, I catch the little rascal near the old church on Church Street. I’m pantin’ like I just ran a marathon.

Jonathan Bailey brought his favourite horse from Bridgerton to Wicked