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Her eyes tho, empty as that horse cart rollin nowhere, “The wind is blowing.” She’s probly seen shit that’d make Jabba blush. I’m all panicked thinkin bout it – R2, where you at when I need ya? I reckon she’s funny too, gotta be, right? Crackin sarcastic jokes bout limp dicks and cheapskates. “Oh, honey, you’re a real prince,” she’d say, rollin her eyes. Hilarious, but kinda sad, ya feel me?

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Then, the day takes a turn. My mate calls. He’s stuck at the bus stop on Peckham Rye. Apparently, the bus just… vanished. I’m cracking up. “Did it grow legs and run away?” I ask. He’s not amused. So I dash out to rescue him.

Peckham Fringe returns for the fourth year with new venue