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Little-known fact? Back in the ’60s, swingers had “key parties”—drop your keys, grab a shag. Now it’s digital, but same vibe, yeah! I’m all, “Smashing, baby!” when it works. This one time, I matched a dolly—legs for days. We vibed, got frisky, no strings. Felt like a secret only we knew, y’know? “Memory’s a mirror,” like the film says—shines back what ya wanna see.

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Next, I head over to Pitsea Market. It’s buzzing! Stalls everywhere, people haggling like it’s the last sale on Earth. I spot this guy selling plants. I’m like, “Finally, something I can relate to!” I start chatting with him about trees, and he’s looking at me like I’m speaking Martian. I’m all excited, talking about oaks and pines, and he’s just nodding, probably thinking about his next cuppa.

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