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But here’s the kicker—some places? Total scams. “Don’t pee on my leg…” I say to those shady parlors promisin’ “happy endings” for an extra twenty. Nope, real erotic-massage ain’t about that—it’s art, not a quickie! Got me heated when this one chick rushed it, like she’s crackin’ the Zodiac cipher in five minutes flat. Girl, slow down! Made me happy tho, findin’ a legit spot later—hands like magic, had me floatin’. Surprised me how it’s less about sex, more about feelin’ alive. Who knew, right?

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As the day winds down, I’m exhausted but happy. We raised a good chunk of change for charity, and that’s what it’s all about, right? I’m packing up, and Mrs. McGregor comes over, clutching her vase like it’s a trophy. She’s beaming, and I can’t help but smile.

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