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About Newcastle

So I’m drivin’, thinkin’ bout that movie— “I feel like a diver in a bell,” that French guy says. Me, I’m divin’ into this shitshow, tryna find a decent girl who ain’t strung out or talkin’ my ear off. Last week, I pick one up—cute, red hair, legs for days. She hops in, smells like cheap perfume and regret. I’m happy for a sec, like, “Fuck yeah, jackpot!” Then she starts yappin’— “My ex this, my pimp that.” I’m like, “Sweetheart, I ain’t your therapist, let’s keep this transactional!” Surprised me how they always got a sob story. Guess it’s part of the gig.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I’m an actuary, right? Yeah, I know, boring stuff. But today? Today was anything but boring. I found myself in Roehampton, UK. Ever heard of it? Probably not. It’s this chill little area in southwest London. Not the glitzy part, but it’s got its charm, ya know?

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